Attention span of a goldfish

Just wanted to put in something representative for this summer. Brynleifur was having hard time adjusting to the morning sun, so I brought him my shades.

The attention-deficit disorder is running high in life. I know I don’t have diagnosis or anything, I'm just misusing the term. But I feel super restless all the time. I'm not at ease.

In general, I don’t feel relaxed unless I’m riding my bike, exercising, running errands across town or at home cooking and taking care of my kids. And I constantly feel like I have unfinished tasks, the feeling of guilt and the feeling of not being in control is wearing me down.

Sometimes I feel like I have to execute some serious shadow work or make an appointment with my shrink, but on the other hand I bet these feelings are just offspring of compulsive social media and YouTube consumption. But when will I ever find the strength to see if it works to cut it down?

I remember when I really enjoyed lying in bed, drinking coffee and reading the news and checking my accounts. Now it takes me less than 10 minutes- then I'm bored, but still I keep on going. Scrolling and scrolling through some meaningless rubbish. My attention span is also getting shorter and shorter. The other day, I found myself watching 10 second videos of people riding road bikes on Instagram.... it was about the only thing I could manage to go through. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

And I feel like this is hurting human connections in many ways. I often find myself having hard time finding things to talk about, even when I meet people I really like. I'm always waiting for next thing to happen, just waiting to get away.

At work I'm waiting for lunch. When I'm finally eating lunch I'm waiting for my coffee. When I sit down to drink my coffee and talking to my colleagues, I'm waiting to get back to my desk... it's always the next thing.

Well, at least I'm aware of the problem and hopefully I will find a way to change this and "live in the moment". Man I hate this cliché.  

I'll end with two quotes a stumbled upon when I was preparing for my races this summer. I find them to be excellent, and true.

"A lot of the time it’s a climb where the selection of a race is decided, and if you can get up over the climb near the front you’re there for the kill." – Pete Williams

 “Bicycle racing is a sport of patience. Racing is licking your opponent’s plate clean before starting on your own.” – Tim Krabbe, The Rider